The Perspective of the Heathen

Several years ago, my wife and I were invited to a Christian brother’s home for some fellowship and dinner with a couple who travels the United States proclaiming the gospel. It was a great time to get to know them, share thoughts, and “talk shop.” They asked us to share our testimony that night how we came to know the Lord.

But in telling my story, my wife was hurt by some comments I made which she had never heard before (probably because I had kept them hidden till then). It was a long two years between my wife and I getting saved. When I did get saved, she looked hard and cold; and in telling the story, it slipped that a fellow Christian brother thought she was a jerk.

That statement really hurt my wife, even many years after the fact. She knows now that we are new creatures in Christ and the old things pass away and we become new (2 Corinthians 5:17). But what bothered her was that before her transformation she wasn’t the one that changed — I was. In her eyes she was the one holding on and struggling to keep our marriage together; I was in a “cult” that was taking me away from her. For really the first time she described with tears how she felt those two years between our conversions. The pain that went along with me cramming Jesus down her throat, telling her she was a rotten sinner that was destined for hell even though days before I was the exact same way. In her eyes I was everything she was and a jerk on top of that.

The thing is that even though those statements may be true, that she was a rotten sinner destined for hell, I was zealous for her to be saved, but was being a jerk. But in my own way, being zealous without knowledge, I did not take the advice of my Lord in 1 Corinthians 13 and love her the way I should. I glanced over the many times my pastor telling me to just love her and that love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8). I was a snorting racehorse blasting out of the gate and never stopped running, only to realize I was trampling over the unbelievers I was trying to help in the process.

Have empathy

As I listened to my wife talk about her struggles it made me reflect how the world views us Christians. I’m not suggesting that we take the pragmatic approach to this and do what works, but maybe we can show a little more tact in witnessing using actions, and not just words. I used to think that I just needed to get the gospel out and not waste time talking with the heathen about the things of life, sports, weather, and those things that matter to them because frankly they could die without Christ at any moment. I don’t believe that we should agree with the world and hold arms together with it and compromise our beliefs. Jesus never did that. But even though He did not compromise, He still understood, where people were coming from. He had empathy for them, and cared enough to have conversations with them, despite their views or culture differences like the woman at the water well in John 4:1-26.

Change is difficult. It doesn’t matter who it is.

I’m not saying that we should hold back the truth from people and appeal to their feelings. But understanding that in their minds, they have a lot to lose, and it may take some time counting the cost. To us Christians, the choice may seem easy in hindsight. But remember when you were challenged with the truth for the first time. It was a hard red pill to swallow, and came with many new things:

• A new identity
• A new way of life
• A new direction
• New friends and sometimes new family
• New career paths
• A new savior, one you couldn’t see, feel, hear, or physically experience, but yet have to trust that He is there with you

Take those who leave Mormonism or Islam for instance. For some, it means leaving everything behind: family, friends, career, and even their own lives. They are disowned by the protection of their clans; and if they get to keep their lives, sometimes they come to Jesus with just the clothes on their backs. Men and women in the LGBT+ leave the comfort and care of a community that takes care of them. Leaving a relationship no matter who you are dating or married to is extremely difficult. To us Christians, the choice is easy. But to the heathen, they have a lot to lose.

Jesus as our example

I often mused over what the conversation would have been like with Jesus at Zacchaeus’ house with his tax-collector and sinner friends. What did they talk about? Did they get mad? Was there a heated exchange of words and ideas which led to people leaving or name-calling? The Bible doesn’t say.

But what it does say is that Jesus’ words attracted all the tax collectors and sinners, and they drew near to Him to hear Him clearer (Luke 15:1). What did He say that sparked their interest? First, what it means to be a disciple. That in order to be His disciple you have to: count the cost, take up your cross, forsake everything and follow after Jesus (Luke 14:25-33); and second: be seasoned like salt (Luke 14:34-35). Yes, He spoke truth, which was different than what the Pharisees preached, but also it was probably in the way He said it. He allowed the tax collectors and sinners to come and listen. It piqued their interest. He was different.

Then, something remarkable happens. Jesus draws a little child to Himself in Matthew 18:2 and places him in the midst of them all. He talks about what happens to those who cause one of these little children to stumble. But then a turn takes place, and goes right into the parable of the lost sheep, and dealing with a sinning brother, which the Bible then talks about the “little one” as a lost sheep. What if in Matthew 18:10-14, these “little ones” that Jesus is talking about are not children, but the tax collectors and sinners that drew near?

May we be true to the Scriptures in what we say, without compromise; yet be attractive and show love to those who are lost (Ephesians 4:15).

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