While helping my mother in New Jersey fix things around the house, paint, and clean, I took the time to spend the weekend with my Goddaughter, Ashley, and her family, enjoying the beautiful summer weather as we ventured out for long walks in the vibrant, Pennsylvania State Park. We shared laughter over homemade meals filled with love, and I cherished every moment of bonding while playing games, telling stories, and creating lasting memories together. It was a refreshing escape filled with joy and warmth, reminding me of the simple pleasures of family, love, and camaraderie.
I really enjoy chatting with her, especially face-to-face on Google Meet, and feel blessed to have such a good relationship now that she’s older. I wish I’d been there more while she was growing up, especially since she has her own family. We’ve had many conversations over the years about faith and the gospel. Being a Roman Catholic, she struggles to understand why I left her religion to become born-again, and she’s definitely aware of my views. I’ve never kept anything from her, and it’s pretty clear this time around.
As we sat on her porch with coffee, watching the horse and buggies trot across the Lancaster cobblestones, she asked me again why I left the faith she cherishes; I repeated my reasons for leaving.
- The doctrine of Purgatory is anti-biblical and against the total finished sacrifice of Christ on the cross.
- The worship and praying to of saints and their corpses is a pagan ritual that is against Scripture.
- The worship of Mary. That she was sinless, assumed into heaven, and is mediatrix between Christ and us is also against Scripture. That she, in many ways, is lifted up above Christ, who is our everything.
- Everything the Roman Catholic Church is against the five solas: it is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, according to Scripture alone, for the glory of God alone.
It sounds cold, but I assure you I didn’t say all of that, listing it out on a point-by-point basis. But those were the things we talked about. It didn’t make things any smoother. It didn’t change her views on why she remains Roman Catholic. It was tense to say the least. I feel as though she has a better understanding of why I’m not, even though she doesn’t agree with it either. Did she listen to what I had to say? She heard it; I don’t know if she listened. It doesn’t make me love her any less, or vice versa. Does it make me nervous talking about such a sensitive topic, especially in her own home—for sure. But I don’t shy away from it either. And honestly, neither should you.
Where should they go?
But, even though we may not align doctrinally, when things get tough and she needs someone to confide in, I am the one she turns to—every time. When she seeks advice, I provide it wholeheartedly, never hesitating to use Scripture to guide her. She understands that when she approaches me for counsel, to share her problems, and to confide in me as a father figure, I will always ground my guidance in the Bible. While I may not quote verses on every occasion, the principles I convey undoubtedly stem from there, not from other sources. She also recognizes my commitment to steering clear of Catholic doctrine… and appreciates that.
She has a unique situation, though, in that she is estranged from extended family for things that were not under her control, and some that were. I just happen to be one of the few people she can talk to within the group; in many ways that solidifies my place and influence on her life, which I cherish. In my mind, she is still the little toothless girl wearing the Mickey Mouse bucket hat galavanting through the Pennsylvania prairie-flowers. But she is a grown woman with a husband and children of her own. I never fear her disowning me, because our bond is so tight and our love for each other is limitless. I never fear making her mad because, in the end, what else would I say? In other words—should she expect anything else?
If we cherish our family members and they genuinely cherish us, we can embrace a sense of joy and confidence in our relationships, knowing that we have a strong bond together built on love. It’s important to remember that our actions and kindness may inspire loved ones around us, as we might be the only Bible people read. They can find comfort and strength in us during times of need. But above all else, a sense of reason and truth in love. That is a beautiful connection that we should strive to keep open!
This year was extremely trying for her and her husband in a season of never-ending trials. Some were unwarranted, while others are self-inflicted. But I am blessed to help them walk through it. You might have those whose family members are going through some of their own. But, we should be their oasis in the desert; a light in the darkness; a safe harbor from the storms because we have the Word of life.
For where should they go if it is not us?
Pens & Wrenches 
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