Spot On

Since putting all of my energy into the fair working the Answers in Genesis and Gideon’s International booths, I have been trying to play “catch-up” with everything else that was put on hold that needed to be done at home. Things that need fixing, errands that need to be run, not to mention being ten days behind in my daily devotionals. Things were piling up and I was already sick and tired: waking up the following Tuesday with a migraine, fever, and not sleeping the next four days. I promised my wife I wasn’t going to overdo it — and here we are.

Since I didn’t feel well, everything that my wife said was grating on every nerve, listing out all that I needed to do, things I had to catch up on, and since I haven’t been logging into my bullet journal, I lost all of it. Everything she said was nagging in my ears, and she sensed it.

“I am not nagging. Don’t see me as nagging. Why don’t you see me as your spotter? A weightlifter can’t get stronger in the gym without a spotter. Don’t see me as a nag if I’m showing you things you need to do and change to make you stronger and not die.”

She was right. People at the gym don’t complain about their spotters or get mad at them. They get mad at them when they don’t do their job, not guiding the bar when needed or not commenting on form which could cause injury.

Spotters help you maximize potential

One study looked at the presence of spotters on bench press performance in trained participants around the age of 21 years old.

“This study demonstrates that resistance exercise is improved by the presence of spotters, which is facilitated by reduced RPE and increased self-efficacy. This has important implications for athletes and clients, who should perform resistance exercise in the proximity of others, to maximize total work performed.”

Sheridan, Andrew1; Marchant, David C.1; Williams, Emily L.2; Jones, Hollie S.3; Hewitt, Phil A.4; Sparks, Andy1. Presence of Spotters Improves Bench Press Performance: A Deception Study. Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research 33(7):p 1755-1761, July 2019. | DOI: 10.1519/JSC.0000000000002285

What this study showed was that the participants never reached full potential when a spotter was unavailable. They never achieved a personal record (PR) and never achieved the results they wanted in the gym. With a spotter, they maximized their performance and achieved gains like never before, even when someone was in the presence available to help.

My wife, my spotter

Even more than a spotter in the gym, my wife wants to see me succeed, thrive, and do my very best in life. She looks out for me in ways that I cannot see myself. It is reflective of her love for me and wanting to achieve my personal best.

So why do I feel like she is nagging instead of helping me? It is because of poor communication. In the article, “How to Be a Good Spotter,” Jessee Shaw, DO said: “Prior to initiation of a resistance-training program with your training partner, pre-lift communication is an important aspect of a good team approach to safe lifting. Discuss the need for a lift-off, expected set and rep targets, and what communication will be used to ask for your assistance.”

Communication is key when spotting. Does the lifter need assistance off the rack? Does the lifter need assistance controlling the bar? How many reps are they aiming for, and what are the cues to look for when they are in trouble and want help? But like spotting, married couples need to also have good communication to discuss when to help and how.

Spotting my wife while she’s bench-pressing is way easier than discussing when to help in everyday life. I know the look of anguish when she can’t push anymore, when her shoulder is about to go out, or that grunt that says, “I’m done, help!” But it’s not as easy to know when she wants my help, or when I am willing to receive help from her.

As in the YouTube video, “It’s Not About the Nail,” all the woman wants is to be consoled and felt sorry for. She doesn’t want to be fixed, but the man can’t help his yearning to just fix it by removing the nail out of her forehead. There’s a reason why there are over 24 million views. People can relate, even though I assume that the 150,000 likes are from men. I think the man is being very compassionate. Way more compassionate than I would have been.

From now on, I will try not to see her suggestions as nagging, but spotting. Why? Because I know that she has the best intentions for me — and I, her. If I know and believe that with all my heart, why should I ever be mad? She’s just spotting me so I don’t do something stupid and die.