Emotions Are to Lead Us, Not Control Us

This is an answer to a question I received recently.

“Is it okay to have anger about other people being slandered or called names?”

Feelings get a bad rap in Christianity because Christians are told that feelings are either unimportant or part of the flesh. But God gave us the ability to feel emotion and can tell us the state of our relationships because they come from the heart; or as the Bible calls, the bowels. When feelings are negative, like anger, they can serve as warnings or a sign that something needs to change, which conflicts with our own moral code. When feelings are good, they serve to show us things are at peace and motivate us to do the things that bring us joy in us and in others. Feelings should neither be ignored nor placed in charge; but they have a place. They make for great servants, but terrible masters. To be controlled by your feelings is bad. To be led on a path that brings change for peace is good. 

Feelings like anger are the responsibility of those feeling the emotion. No other person has authority over our own emotions.  So, when a person feels anger, they can’t change the person that anger is directed towards. A person’s actions could invoke feelings of anger in us; but it is how we respond to that anger that is important. 

Jesus got angry

Jesus was both fully God, and fully man at the same time. The Bible makes it clear, He felt anger in certain situations. One notable instance is when Jesus drove out the money changers and merchants from the temple in Jerusalem, overturning their tables and rebuking them for turning God’s house into a marketplace (John 2:13-18). This display of anger, often referred to as righteous indignation, was a response to the desecration of His Father’s house, a sacred space meant for worship. Jesus’ anger was directed at the sin and injustice he witnessed in that moment, rather than being motivated by personal pride, selfish reasons, or to beat the moneychangers themselves. This shows us that it is possible to feel anger in a righteous manner, as Jesus did, when confronting injustice or wrongdoing.

Other people in the Bible got angry

This thought of righteous indignation wasn’t just a trait of Jesus, but others in the Bible. Moses on at least two occations got angry with those around him when the children of Israel did not heed his command given to him by God (Exodus 16:20; Leviticus 10:16-20). Jonathan, Saul’s son, got angry when his father tried to kill him (1 Samuel 20:32-24). And Nehemiah became angry when he heard the troubles of the people because their money problems were caused, in part, because of the greed of those who wanted to make a profit off the money troubles of others (Nehemiah 5:6), something Moses clearly said was wrong (Exodus 22:25).

To be angry and not sin means to obey God’s Word with no exceptions and completely follow the example of God and Jesus Christ. Most anger though is sinful anger which results in the outbursts of the flesh and is a prelude and compounded by other sins.

What are you going to do about it?

Now, back to your question. To the person who feels this anger about other people being slandered or called names, my question is — “What are you going to do about it?” The Bible makes it clear in that righteous indignation is okay, but we are not to stay in that state for very long. What gets us out of that state is actually confronting the thing that is making us angry, but without sinning. Anger, like any other negative emotion, is supposed to be temporary and should motivate us to change and right the wrongs and injustices we see. 

Emotions should motivate us to restoration

Take Matthew 18:15-20 for instance. It starts off by saying, “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” Instead of staying angry in the situation, we are to go tell the person their faults in hopes to correct the situation. This is done first by praying over your emotion and the delivery of the conversation so that it will be presented with gentleness and respect. If the person who is slandering does not respond to the rebuke, the Bible says later to bring someone else with you who has knowledge of the situation; and if that doesn’t work, to take it to the church. This is not to slander, but to restore the relationship. Sometimes though, our efforts to restore the relationship don’t work (Matthew 18:17). In these cases, we just leave it be, continue to pray for the sinning person, and be content that we did our part to restore the relationship even though it was not received. 

People may say that Ephesians 4 is contradictory, because in one verse it says to put away anger (4:31) and several verses earlier it says to be angry, but do not sin (4:26). As it says in verse 26, we are not to sin in our anger, and to not let the sun set before making it as right as possible, hence the following verses about action. The anger that comes in verse 31, is one of hot wrath, bitterness, screaming, and a burning desire to seek retribution through revenge. God’s heart in these matters is for restoration, not retribution. He is always seeking restoration and teaches us to do the same. That’s is why forgiveness is so vital to Christianity. Forgiveness is the doorway to restoration. 

Restoration releases us of our anger

When we take the necessary steps provided in Scripture to restore scarred relationships, even when they don’t end up the way we want, an amazing thing happens; we are released from our anger. It is also difficult to be angry at people you are praying for, but it encourages us to have pity on them. 

Restoration doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting what the other person has done, but that that it was forgiven and paid for. So, in this case, confront the person who is slandering in an effort to right the wrongs and injustices that are done, with gentleness and love.

In His service, 

Frank